The whole dream focused on me shopping for new earrings. They had a pretty good selection, but none of them were really what I had been looking for. I was poring over all the choices carefully, but there was always just something about each pair that wasn’t “it.” They were either the wrong size or wrong shape. Some beautiful ones were hanging droplets, but I wanted studs.

In my dreamscape, it took an incredibly long time to search through all of these various pieces of jewelry. I ended up waking before finding a selection that I liked enough to buy.

It made sense initially. Before we left Budapest, I had my other ear pierced. Last night I saw my calendar reminder that the piercing had been in long enough that I can change to a different set of earrings.

The source seems obvious, right? While normally I’d proclaim that interpretation a slam dunk, something else has been going on in the background.

We’re back in the UK doing a series of house sits. Being back in England has reminded me how much more enjoyable something as simple as grocery shopping can be when you know the language. During travel, going grocery shopping is part of the adventure. Especially if you want something seemingly simple like cream for a sauce. Will it be in the dairy section or on the shelf? Practically every dairy product has a cow on the container or a spoon filled with some type of cream, but it could be yogurt, sour cream, clotted cream . . .

When you’re living somewhere long term, though, sometimes adventure gets, well, old. Sometimes you want just want to go to the store and find exactly what you’re looking for without spending 15 minutes with Google Translate since the poor store employee has no clue what you’re asking for.

And sometimes even Google surrenders and admits it has no clue.

After spending the last 7 months playing the Schengen Zone game, I think it’s fair to say I’m just sick of dealing with visas as well.

After falling in love with Budapest, I paid attention to my feelings as we returned to France and our very brief stay in Romania to pick up our luggage. We both continue to be deeply enamored with Budapest. Even though I still love Paris, I have to say Budapest has replaced it as my #1. Tigger says it’s his top choice as well.

It’s nice to be in agreement on a location. Sure makes choices easier.

However, there is “Let’s stay there for a few months,” and then there’s “Let’s make it our base.” They are different experiences and a very different mind set. Adventure versus comfort.

There is also “What about winter?”

I feel like our search for a base has been very much like my earring shopping dream. We’ve had so many absolutely wonderful choices, but none have really been “The One.”

Budapest was extremely close. I could even ignore its winter, and for a while Tigger agreed. We both looked forward to returning.

The longer we’ve remained rooted in our house sit, though, the more time I’ve had to ponder. The allure has faded as I’ve contemplated the visa hassle we’re in for. Budapest is still my #1 city, but at this stage I just don’t know that I want to go through all the visa complications and the language ones.

Mexico has continued to call us back. It definitely isn’t “the perfect choice” either, but we do love and miss it. Even though we’ve spent a lot of time in Mexico, Tigger has not experienced a lot of the country. He has only seen the Yucatan, which is very different from other regions of the country.

During our travels, we have often avoided areas heavy with expats because we wanted to experience more of the local culture. For long-term, though, having a solid expat community can actually be a bonus, especially if there are expat families with teens.

This was one problem I had with Budapest. There were plenty of families with little kids, but finding an English-speaking teen was a big challenge.

We have a good friend in San Miguel de Allende (SMA), and I know there are lots of expat families with teens there. Yes, Tigger will learn Spanish and make local friends as well, but he needs friends he can easily communicate with while he’s learning the language. And he also needs some friends who are a bit more culturally close to him.

Mexico grants us 6 months, and I’m fluent in Spanish, so that knocks out the two biggest complications.

It’s also easier being gay in Mexico than in Hungary. That is something I do need to factor in as well.

Our plan is not set in stone (Duh!), but for now the idea is that in late December/early January we’re returning to Mexico. We’re going to give SMA a shot and see how we feel. We may end up in another part of Mexico, or we may return to Budapest. Or something else. But right now having 6 months on arrival, being in a place I already speak the language (and Tigger has retained some Spanish), being around English-speaking teens for Tigger, getting to spend more time with a dear friend, and having a more temperate winter is a winning combination.

Are you surprised our plans have changed?

As I continued to argue with myself ponder the situation, I had to agree with some of the comments I received—It really comes down to what matters most.

In doing more research about the area in the US we had selected, looking at rentals again, checking the job situation, etc., it helped me lock onto what mattered most.

And that is quality of life. Really, no further discussion was necessary at that point. We’re returning to Romania.

Quality of life

One thing became glaringly obvious, and that was the fact that I would have to work many more hours to be able to afford just the basics if we remained in the US. It makes no sense to me to willingly put more energy into working than living just to get less out of it.

Even though Tigger spends most of his time in his man cave, I’m here for him whenever. He will still go out exploring, go on walks, etc., with me. If I’m spending my time working, though, I will greatly reduce the amount of available time we have together. Our spontaneous outings would greatly diminish.

I simply refuse to give that up.

I relish being able to take advantage of a break in bad weather to go for a walk, or to simply close the laptop and head out because it’s a gorgeous day. I’m getting so much more out of life by not having it filled with other things. Why would I surrender all that?

I’ve also noticed that Tigger’s anxiety has increased. It began once we were getting close to leaving Mexico and has remained while we’ve been here. There could be other factors, but I can’t ignore the coincidence.

There are some other factors as well.

Community

Obviously, Tigger will probably have an easier time finding friends in the US; however, he really isn’t going to go out and do that on his own. He has enough anxiety left that he uses me as an anchor in new situations until he’s comfortable, then he’s perfectly fine forging ahead on his own. If I’m spending most of my day working, the opportunities for us to be involved in things that will give him the venue to meet new people will be greatly reduced.

The fact he’s a foreigner might also make him more interesting to local kids. So being elsewhere could actually boost his chances.

The initial concern that I would have to live in the closet was removed by chatting with some gay Romanian friends. The concerning issues really only exist if you’re Romanian (family & job being the big worries). Foreigners don’t have the same issues.

Yeah, it could be a little more difficult to date there, but it isn’t like I’ve ever had that much luck dating in the US! PDA isn’t recommended there, but I’m careful with that everywhere.

Romania is also one of the few places that just felt like home when were there.

Travel

While Tigger is over the constant movement, he does still want to travel. He’s thinking a situation of being home for 3 months, taking a short trip, returning home for 3 months, etc., will be great. That isn’t so easy if we stay in the US. It’s tough saving up enough money for starters, especially if you aren’t working full time. Plus, anywhere else really interesting internationally involves long flights.

If we live in Europe, “Let’s go to Germany for the weekend” is much easier to pull off, especially if we have a home we still have to pay for.

Not to mention how much easier it is to fly in Europe. TSA just sucks here.

Transportation

The lack of good public transportation in most of the US is such a frustration. All over Europe it was never a concern to get from point A to point B. There was usually a train, bus, tram, etc. Just going between two cities in the US can be frustrating and expensive.

I like driving, but I’d rather not have to have a car.

Health care

It’s so much more complicated in the US. In almost every country we’ve visited, I can go to the pharmacy and refill my medications without a prescription, and they are generally much cheaper than even an insurance copay. Travel medical insurance is much cheaper for the big things than even basic insurance coverage here. When you can go to urgent care, be treated, and walk away with meds for $35 USD total. . . Remember my $220 emergency room visit in Australia?

***

There are many factors we’ve considered, but I have to say the bottom line is quality of life. We can’t “live without regrets” and ignore this category. It’s just too important.

We’ve enjoyed following along with their adventures and felt devastated in April when their youngest, Edward, was diagnosed with a form of leukemia. Since then he has been fighting valiantly and has endured an intensive stream of treatments, some of which he receives while unconscious via anesthesia.

Through it all, Edward’s indomitable spirit has shown through clearly in his photos.

Soon he will have another birthday, and one of the things he would absolutely love is to get postcards from around the world.

We would love to help fulfill that wish and are asking our readers to please consider sending him a postcard (even if it’s from the US where he lives). It’s a small thing that will bring him great joy.

Postcards should be sent to:

Edward Chambers
c/o General Delivery
7101 Coastal Hwy.
Ocean City, MD 21842
USA

If you wish to connect with him or follow along, here is his Facebook page. I know he gets a lot of joy from seeing all the likes and comments.

Please also feel free to share his address and info with people you know who may also want to send him a card.

Thanks!

I am happy to report that the sequel, Battle for Jerezi, is due to be launched in about a couple of weeks. Although, it is available for purchase during the preorder phase.

So that people can prepare become familiar with the story before the new book releases, the first book in the series is available to download for free via Amazon this weekend, October 3-5, 2014.

Battle for Jerezi is more intense, has more of a story line, and I think is just overall even more of an exciting read than the first book.

So why not check it out? Free is a hard price to beat.

As always, thanks for your support!

Well, they just announced a special deal for our readers, too! If you book a stay with them between now and the end of the year (the reservation can be through 31 January 2014, but you have to book by 31 December 2013), make sure to use the code GOWITH1DAD1KID, and you will get a 20€ discount.

Pretty darn cool, right?

And I’m not getting any sort of compensation when you use the code. It’s all just for you!

So, how about Europe for the holidays?

Happy 5th Gotcha Day, Tigger!

Photo from Google Images

Madrid!  We leave in mid October.  We’ll be done housesitting in Cozumel about a week before we leave, so we’ll explore a little bit more on the mainland, or maybe return to one of our absolute favorite spots in the Yucatan, before heading to the other side of the planet.

I’m so excited Tigger gets to add his 3rd continent soon!

I found some very good airfares from Colombia to Spain this summer.  That led to some very exciting possibilities, i.e., spending my birthday in Paris, which is also Bastille Day in France, so the whole country would be celebrating my birthday (a dream since I was about 8 years old).  Once you’re in Europe, it’s fairly inexpensive to get to places like parts of Africa and Asia.

We seriously considered doing that; however, we’ve also really been missing Cozumel.  As we’ve traveled we’ve been paying attention to places we’d like to probably live more long term, use as a base for continuing travels, etc., and Cozumel has remained at the top of our list.

One of our favorite beaches on Cozumel

In discussing things we decided that before we left this side of the planet it would be a good idea to go spend more time in Cozumel to see if it should retain its spot in the top tier since we’ve only spent about 1-1/2 months there, and we missed the rainy season.  So we’re giving it a go, and on the 28th of June we’ll be leaving Peru and going back to Cozumel where we plan on staying for at least 4-6 months before heading over to Europe for the next phase of our nomadic adventure. Thinking Chrismakah in Italy or France perhaps. We’ll just have to see as it gets closer.

While we’re in Cozumel I’m going to check to see if there are some potential business opportunities I can get involved with as well, and we’re both really looking forward to getting back into the water and returning to a place that felt so much like home.  And as luck would have it, another traveling family we spent time with on Utila is going to be there, too, so we’ll have even more friends to hang out with which is especially nice.

I am so excited that he’s going to be taking a more active role in the blog and hope that progresses even further as time goes on.  I plan not to edit his posts so that you get to really read them in his voice.

Thanks so much for giving him so much support on his 1st photo installment.  I really believe that helped give him the confidence and encouragement to take the next step.