27 responses

  1. Mel Robinson
    July 28, 2022

    Having visited Romania as one providing humanitarian aid initially then shoe box Christmas gifts to the orphanages etc. I have met several closeted Gay men.
    My heart goes out to them. Back home in UK I have always made my home available for individuals to stay and experience the gay community around the country.

    Reply

  2. chris sayudo
    January 1, 2021

    Hi I read your piece about romania, there is not much else out there. I have a friend who is Romanian living in london he is 25 and was just outed to his family. His mother called him a demon and said he can never go home, she calls him often to just say he is sick.
    I’ve tried to talk to him but think if he could talk to another Romanian gay guy it might help. Is there anything you can suggest . Thanks for anything you can suggest as he is having a rough time. Chris

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      January 2, 2021

      Saw you also messaged on FB. Answered you there.

      Reply

  3. anon
    November 17, 2018

    It’s really hard to be gay in Romania. The repression and the internalized homophobia I had to go through made me suffer a lot… At least now I’ve accepted myself and I’m trying to not hate myself because of it.

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      November 18, 2018

      I’m glad you’ve accepted yourself. I’m hoping things will continue to change in Romania and not take 50 years to do that.

      Reply

      • anon
        November 19, 2018

        Thanks for the encouraging thoughts.

        Reply

    • Barrister
      April 27, 2019

      You think being gay in Europe is difficult?? Try being gay in West Africa

      Reply

      • Talon Windwalker
        April 27, 2019

        There are many places throughout the world where it is dangerous, and sometimes potentially deadly, to be a member of the LGBTQ community. Parts of Europe are definitely safer than many other countries.

        Reply

    • Mel Robinson
      July 28, 2022

      My heart goes out to you
      But always remember it’s what you feel about yourself and accepting yourself that matters

      Reply

  4. Anton
    January 17, 2018

    The anti-gay bigotry in Romania is promoted by both the Orthodox and Catholic churches but even more by the American Fundamentalists like the Baptists, Pentecostals, Yehova witnesses and Adventists, financed the the corresponding USA organizations.The so-called organization for families even has fascist overtones.

    Reply

  5. Paulo Roberto Silva
    October 24, 2016

    Indeed, it is terrible to think that nowadays the great majority of human being still minds if their neighboor are two men living together or if some job female mate dates another woman. But this becomes such a minor problem when we think about Syria being governed by a man that self ruinned its country, or that till 30 years ago Roemnia was governed by one of the most satanic ditactor for more than a decade and nobody did nothing and that in two weeks maybe almost half of US citiens will vote for Donald Trump, and……and……

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      October 25, 2016

      I’m not sure how you made that leap. Syria having a dictator has nothing to do with someone having to fear for their life in their home because of who they love.

      Reply

  6. Bruno
    October 14, 2016

    “Avoid kissing, holding hands, or cuddling in public. Anything else is fine”. Anything like… breathing? hahahahaha… sorry, so sad actually!

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      October 18, 2016

      Yeah, not a lot of room there.

      Reply

  7. Jessica Dapson
    May 1, 2016

    I just discovered your blog. I really really like it. As for this piece, I never knew Romania (and surely other places in the world) to be so close-minded. I have never left the US, so I guess chalk it up as another assumption. I can’t imagine being raised in this culture…my parents raised me with beliefs that everyone should be free to live their life however it pleases them. I have broadened that notion, sometimes even debating and reasoning within myself on the Mormons out west and their common practice of men having several wives. Anyways, this is so very sad and makes me grateful to be in America. Even if half the country is nuts for supporting Trump and disputing that transgender ppl have the right to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity.

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      May 2, 2016

      Well, America is hardly the bastion of open-mindedness. There is a large section of the population that is worse than the Romanian mindset, and one is far more likely to be beat up for being LGBT in the US than in most of Eastern Europe. And in western Europe, people are generally FAR more open minded than a lot of the US. So, I hope you do get out of America and see what other culture have to offer as well. 😉

      Reply

  8. George
    September 8, 2015

    In romania there are pre 1995 laws that still exist like if 3 or more people complain that you are holding hands , making out and stuff you can be charged for vandalism 5yrs in prison and a 500 ron fine ..

    Reply

  9. Adriana
    June 30, 2015

    Romania has a culture of shame, and anything that might “betray” the church and is uncommon is strictly criticised by the society. Fortunately there is hope. Most of the students in universities that are very connected to other countries through the internet tend to have a more open mind. Very religious people no matter what age or education however don’t give any reasonable arguments except GOD and SATAN. Oh, at least the number of such dogmatic beliefs is decreasing. Thank you God, haha. I am disgusted by straight couples who literally lick themselves in public places. This for me is not appropriate. Intense sexual acts shouldn’t be displayed in public, but a little kiss and holding hands is fine : ). We are all human beings and we all deserve to be loved and to love whoever want, as long as this has the consent of both sides. A lot of people compare gay people with pedophiles, sorry but that little child is not old enough to agree to something like this. There is no term of comparison. I wish I could see gay couples on the street holding hands and walking proudly. This would be a sign that our society is evolving.

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      July 11, 2015

      I keep hoping, but I think it’s going to take a LONG time, which is sad.

      Reply

  10. Paige Conner Totaro
    August 9, 2014

    Wow. That is chilling. I remember you said it was tough while you were there but I had no idea just how tough. Thanks for posting this. It’s important for us to know and remember as people get more accepting in the US that there are still many places where it is seen as aberrant.

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      August 9, 2014

      Yes, indeed. And there are places in Eastern Europe that are worse than Romania when it comes to this. This was one of the reasons I wasn’t sure Romania could be our long-term base.

      Reply

  11. Sam
    August 9, 2014

    So sad. At least your interviewee hasn’t suffered much from religious repression, but it’s still terrible that people have to live like this. All the best to him.

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      August 9, 2014

      Very much so, esp when you travel to other countries and realize how much more open it can be.

      Reply

  12. Rich
    August 8, 2014

    I find it interesting how some places can be open minded and others can be so closed minded.
    There are some places where you will see two heterosexual males walking down the street holding hands because they are friends and walking together, and it is not looked at as anything other than two friends walking together. And if the assumption is that they are gay then it is as passing as “They are both wearing the same team football shirt, they must be fans.” Nothing more.
    Yet you go to other places and gay male partners will act more hetero so as not to attract attention.
    I understand some of the arguments for it yet…
    Here in the States I know, or knew some gay men who left their small hometowns and moved to the larger cities for the same reasons. It gave them a chance to be who they were without the disapproval of their family and childhood friends. I guess that Romania will have to go through the changes that happened here in the States, and eventually they to will change, with time.
    I am in Texas now and there is a mix of views but it is nice to see people talk about there relationships (LGTB or straight)without fear of reprisal from strangers.
    I hope “C” can find who he is looking for, even if he has to move to a more tolerant area.

    Reply

    • Talon Windwalker
      August 9, 2014

      It can be quite interesting indeed. I remember being in Morocco and getting worried for a couple of men who were walking hand in hand. Then I recalled in their culture that straight men can show affection with each other freely.

      Being reminded of the challenges in Romania has certainly forced me to rethink it as a possible long-term base. We both love it there, but I really don’t relish the idea of feeling like I have to live in the closet again. And it’s already hard enough finding dating prospects as it is much less in a culture like this.

      Reply

    • john smith
      January 22, 2016

      Romania is still in the dark ages and they need to come into the 21 centry, I feel very deeply for the gay people more for them than the rest of Romania people. the government of Romania is so bad, as is the any one in power, they take from the poor and keep the money for them self’s as any one in government. I know several people that live there, the government is killing it’s own people, if you don’t have money and your sick they will let you die instead of helping you. when your salary is only 250 dollars a month how do you live. Then their the gypsy’s they rob steal and kill if you give them any trouble and it is said they just pay the government and get any thing they want. The Romania people need help and to be eduacated so they can have better lives.

      Reply

      • Corina
        January 24, 2016

        John, i’m not saying that our country doesn’t have issues, corruption is a very serious one and our health system has a lot to improve on but saying we like in the dark ages based on things you’ve heard is a bit of a stretch and slightly offensive.
        Romania is a country of contrasts, welcoming lovely people and bigot uneducated assholes. While i hope the later group will diminish in time can you truly tell me that any country is free of them?
        @Talon, your post is old and who knows if you’ll ever read this but i felt the need to point something out. I’m a 30 year old woman from Cluj-Napoca and in my not so short existence i’ve seen the change, from not even knowing that gay people exist to meeting a few, or seeing some on the street ( oddly enough only girls). I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to want to act normal and show affection just like anyone else is free to do in public, and i understand gay people are hesitant to do so for safety reasons, but i can’t help to think that it’s a sort of public education that you could to to make things better. My point being that if two men holding hands or kissing is an odd and unusual fact people will pay attention, and idiots will act against it. But when this becomes more common the haters will be less prone to act out of fear of the rest of the population who shoes tolerance and acceptance.
        One last thing, the USA and other countries have had decades of “free country” culture, the acceptance of LGBT people was a long and tedious process. Romania has come out of communism 20 years ago and is trying to catch up but there is only so much change you can do in that much time. Things will get better.

        Reply

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