They may not want gays to have equality, but they sure want a piece of the “pink dollar.”

While I think overall that is a positive thing, even if it’s hypocritical (“You can’t get married here, and we won’t recognize your marriage, but we’re a fantastic gay honeymoon destination!”), there is something about gay travel and how it’s advertised and covered that drives me nuts.

Yes, the label of LGBT has to do with a person’s sexuality, but I hate how the focus on gay travel is almost always sexual. Have a look at the following examples. I did a Google Images search for “greece travel” and “gay greece travel”  and grabbed the first few photos that showed up.  Notice the differences?

So as a gay man I wouldn’t be interested in Greece as a travel destination based on that first set of images?

And there were far less tame photos as well for “gay greece travel.”

What I also found interesting is when I searched for “lesbian greece travel” most of the images were either the ones like the top set or like the second. Only 1 photo out of about 30 included women. Do a search for LGBT, and it’s mostly men.

Women just can’t catch a break.

Now, I like eye candy just as much as the next person, but don’t treat me like a sex-crazed person just because I’m a homo.

If they aren’t trying to appeal to my sexual side, these agencies seem to think the only other things gay men are interested in when they travel are parties, shopping, and boutique hotels. And maybe going to the gym.

When I travel, I don’t do gay travel. Just like when I park a car, I’m not gay parking. I also don’t order gay pizza or gay beer.

To me LGBT travel is more about finding the places where I can be myself and where I can feel safe as a gay man. Most of my friends are straight, but I do enjoy hanging out with fellow gays as well because it’s the one group where I can completely be myself. I don’t need to come out yet again, and I don’t feel like I have to guard my words.

When a place is spoken of as being good for gay travel, to me it says I can hold my partner’s (if I had one) hand in public . I wouldn’t have to explain to hotel staff why two men would want one bed instead of two. I know it’s a place where my partner and I would be treated like any other couple.

It’s more about safety and ease.

To treat all gay men like their main travel interests are sex, shopping, fashion, and parties is really insulting to the majority of us. Time to get a clue, advertisers.

And that means you, too, queer publications!

What do you think about when you see the words “gay travel”?

When I was married, our whole family celebrated it. We gave the kids Valentines and treats, and invariably we ended up having red drinks and pink mashed potatoes (my wife was a second-grade school teacher). As the kids were older, we went out for our celebration sans enfants. I always found it a bit ridiculous, but I knew it was important to her.

As a single person, I despise all the hoopla even more.

I’ve always had a great distaste for the hypercommercialism of the “holiday.” I never could quite wrap my head around how going into debt or spending hundreds of dollars to buy my wife a diamond pendant or necklace, or a car, was somehow a finer expression of love than the other things I did all year long.

I hated the pressure. Good gawd you better not do something less than spectacular on this day. Forget about the flowers, chocolates, surprise lunches at work, the unbirthday celebrations, and other things you did throughout the year. THIS was the day that mattered.

Sure, I’ll confess that perhaps I’m a bit jaded secondary to childhood traumas. You see, I went to school during the non-PC days when people believed that being disappointed was good preparation for life. We weren’t given a list of our classmates to ensure that each child received an equal amount of Valentines. Oh no! You got to be properly embarrassed and heartbroken when you had 5 Valentines compared to the other kid who had 20. And had to endure their gloating as well as their teasing.

I absolutely despised Valentine’s Day in school.

And back then if someone saw you give a Valentine to a girl or boy (depending on your gender) who wasn’t as popular, your day would become much worse. If you happened to be the less-popular kid. . . There was also a lot of decision-making. Did you give the girl you liked as a friend a Valentine, or would she and others think you liked liked her?

Valentine’s Day is probably the only time I’ll tip my hat to a PC practice.

As an adult, though, I see the whole notion as rather bizarre. I’d rather my partner show me that he loves me throughout the year. Why should I be surprised with flowers or chocolates just because the calendar says today is that day?

If you’re expecting it, is it even a surprise?

Being somewhat prone to cynicism, I might question their level of affection if they pretty much only produced these affectations of love on the big calendar days. I’m much more impressed by a spontaneous display than one that someone felt pressured into.

It’s a lot more fun to be surprised on the other days, too!

I don’t like the pressure, and I particularly don’t care for the notion that love is expressed only by me spending money on some gift, especially so if said gift is delivered on that magical day of 14 February. I also feel bad for the people who perhaps are struggling financially and can only manage a mere pittance of a display.

Of course, as a single it’s just one more reminder that I have no romantic love in my life. Gee, thanks. I really needed to be reminded of that, too. Like I don’t get reminded of that every single freaking day of the year as it is!

No, I’m not bitter. Not. At. All.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m big on romance, and I think it’s essential in a relationship. But romance isn’t necessarily store or florist or chocolatier bought. And it certainly should happen more than just one scheduled day out of the year.

What do you think about the whole notion of Valentine’s Day and celebrating it?

Sexism in parenting

For many years, it was believed men could not parent on their own.  In the past, there were numerous cases of children even being removed from a home after their mother died because a single man was considered to be unfit. Thankfully, we’ve progressed to the point where we now are seeing the rise of stay-at-home dads (SAHD). Yet single dads are often treated very differently than single moms.

Being a single dad makes me perhaps a bit more sensitive to this issue. People are absolutely stunned when they discover that I adopted Tigger as a single parent. Many people have expressed they didn’t even know a man could do that! And we’re not talking other countries. These have been during encounters with North Americans. But there are many countries where it is practically unheard of, and I’ve grown accustomed to having someone look at me like I have two heads in those places.

“But where is the mother?” There is no mother. “Did she die? Are you divorced?” They can’t comprehend it.

Schools were the worst in my experience. I remember when my son’s class was having a party. They were one of the few schools that still allow home-baked goodies. I picked him up from class, and the teacher was letting various parents know what she was hoping for the most. Then she saw me.

I remember watching her face as the wheels turned in her head. “Oh, but don’t worry about that, Mr. Windwalker. You can bring something store-bought like cupcakes. Or even paper plates would be fine.”

Excuse me?

I still remember the look of shock on her face when I appeared with pumpkin harvest cookies I had baked. “They were everyone’s favorite!” Remember that, lady!

There was also the time when one of my children decided to wear a dirty hoodie to school along with pants with large holes in the knees. Before he went to school we had a conversation. “Are you aware that you have food stains on your hoodie?” Yes. “It looks filthy.” I know. “And your pants have huge holes. Would you like me to patch them?” No, I like them like this. “Okeydoke.”

Needless to say I received a very condescending message from school advising me that it was important to his self-esteem to have clean clothes that were also in good repair. Yeah, no crap lady. With any child you pick your battles. With this one, who already had some major challenges, I wasn’t going to do battle for something so unimportant.

I have grown accustomed to the looks from women when Tigger is bouncing, hopping, skipping, etc., when other people are walking. Or when he’s scaling a telephone pole or high wall. The unspoken comment is quite clear: Stupid man and your irresponsible parenting. Where is his mother!

I often see people post things on social media that are very degrading to men and their lack of parenting aptitude. Just because we may approach it differently as males, doesn’t mean we’re wrong, stupid, or ignorant thank you very much.

I’ve actually had to work very hard to counter some of Tigger’s experience-based sexist views. Because of the people he’s been around, and their reactions to his daredevilism and free spirit, his view of women is that they’re all “overprotective.” I consistently counter that some women are like that, but not all women are, and that he shouldn’t just assume any woman he comes across is going to try to wrap him in bubble paper from head to toe.

Ladies, sometimes you make my job very difficult!

Sexism in the media

In TV shows and commercials, men are regularly portrayed as being rather incompetent while women know it all and save the day. If it weren’t for women, all of us idiotic men would never eat anything with a shred of nutrition, would probably die from doing basic tasks around the house, and good gawd never leave us alone with the children!

In the 50s and 60s, we had shows where men were the absolute sage in the household, and women’s primary talent was keeping a good home. Obviously, that was not right. But we’ve gone the completely opposite direction, and that isn’t fair either.

Of course, there is still ripe sexism toward women in shows. I’ve never understood why it’s perfectly okay to show full frontal nudity of women, but flash a glimpse of penis and holy s**t it’s pornography!

Men are perverts

Things had become so bad in the US in this regard that I am reticent to help a child in obvious need. The media and others have done such a great job of portraying the message that men are really pedophiles that I’m afraid to go near a kid who isn’t mine. I once was in a Walmart when a boy who was about 6 years old came up to me crying. He had lost his parents. Not wanting to be mistaken for an abductor or molester, I spoke really loudly: “Are you lost? Would you like some help?” I was practically yelling, which I’m sure didn’t help this poor boy feel any better.

“Follow me, and I’ll get you some help,” I said loudly while looking around and keeping my distance. He tried to take hold of my hand, but I quickly pulled it away because that could look even more suspicious. As we were walking toward the front of the store, the kid bawling as he followed me like a puppy dog, one of his family showed up. His reaction made it obvious this was his family, and I was so relieved. But I also waited to be accused.

Why? Because I have seen people become wrongly unglued far too often.

And it’s even worse because I’m gay. When I announced I was going to become a Big Brother (before adopting), I had some people who had known me for many years immediately question my motivation. News flash: I’m a gay MAN. That means I’m attracted to other MEN.

And since at least 95% of all cases of reported sexual molestation are perpetrated by heterosexual, married men, I’m actually your safer option.

“Reverse” sexism

This is the basic idea that since men having been doing it to women for so long, when they return the favor it’s “reverse sexism.” Bullcrap! Sexism is sexism. Yeah, some stereotypes are funny, and sure some men do some seriously weird things, but we’re not all bumbling idiots.

It’s also true that we often have radically different approaches to relationships and communication. Guys tend to be much more frank. “Dude, you’re getting a belly!” is totally acceptable for a male to say to his male buddy. Obviously, if a man says that to a woman most likely hell will be unleashed in all its fury.

When two men have an argument, it’s usually over pretty soon and they’re back to being friends. During an argument with a woman, it often goes something like this—It’s just like that time in 1973. I was wearing that purple shirt, and you had on that black cap with the AC/DC logo. We were at Sheila’s BBQ when they lived on Stratherson Road before they moved to Stickapininit. . . .

Most likely men are still stuck on the fact that you remember something that happened in 1973 a good 20 minutes into the conversation.

We get we’re different. No one disagrees that we think, communicate, behave, and deal with stressors differently. But how about spreading a little equality in our direction?

Being in the medical field, I’ve been surrounded by women for at least three decades. If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard a woman begin saying something that ended with other women replying “MEN!” in choral unison, I’d be a billionaire. Look, just because YOUR guy is a 5-star prick doesn’t mean we all are.

Trust me, if I judged all women by my experiences with my mother and some others, I would have very few friends.

Your husband may not be able to fix your kids something other than frozen fishsticks dinner, but this one can throw together a multicourse meal that won’t be soon forgotten. And it isn’t just because I’m a homo either. My mother couldn’t manage to do much more than boil water.

So how about we all knock off the sexism crap? Women, you are no saints either, so come down off the high horse.

And girl, if you’re sick of your husband/partner/boyfriend/whatever acting like a child, stop treating him like you’re his mama. You just find you have yourself a real man.

Which examples of sexism towards males bugs you the most?

Had that been a cut about me being gay? I wouldn’t normally think that about him, but I had to wonder. He is, after all, a typical “manly man.” Would a manly man be content sitting near the kitchen eating, drinking, and joking with a bunch of ladies?

Earlier this week, I read an article on a blog that struck a nerve with me. It was a list of things dads should teach their sons. It had been written by a woman and set out to at least partially redefine what a “real man” should be. For the most part, it was well done, but some of the points she raised bothered me.

I guess I have a different take on the whole discussion. And, frankly, the whole topic really just kind of irritates me.

A Real Man

Should I beat my chest and burp loudly as I write this? Is the beverage I’m currently imbibing, a Negroni, manly enough? Probably not, although it is pure alcohol, so that should give me some man points, right? (And excuse me, but I don’t mix drinks by the tablespoon.) While I do like my gin & tonic, a proper martini, and shots of good tequila (got Patrón?), I really do like my fruity drinks. Mai tai, fuzzy navel, sex on the beach, Appletini, mango martini, watermelon mojitos. . . you get the point. My favorite beer is Guinness stout, which I guess allows me to still be called a man.

The whole notion is just so bizarre to me. So, here I am a sensitive, caring, compassionate man who doesn’t really play sports (because I have bad knees, I haven’t been able to play most of them since I was 11), hates watching them on TV (BORING!), really prefers biting sarcasm to boisterous trash talking, and most video games don’t intrigue me (I suck at them). And I’m raising a son (and have helped raise many others).

Dear gawd!

After reading the post earlier and getting ticked off and, once again, rehashing that stupid night with friends, I decided I needed to write my own list. Mostly just because I’m one of those people who does better getting stuff off his hairy chest rather than stuffing it inside.

Oh crap, I just divulged another part of my unmanliness—I believe communication is essential. I know. I’ll hand over my man card right now.

• Respect. I see plenty of talk about how a real man respects women, cares for them, protects them, etc. I’d like to take that up a notch. How about someone who respects others period. I would stand up for a woman, another fella, an animal, or a principle. A real man respects others in word and deed. I also don’t see a woman as being so frail that she needs my protection. He keeps his promises and isn’t afraid to admit when he’s wrong. He doesn’t feel the need to exert his strength or authority over another person because he’s bigger, stronger, smarter, whatever. He can listen to the other side of an argument, weigh it out, and proceed with an informed opinion. He doesn’t need to be feared.
• Cries. Yeah, I said it. A real man cries. I’m not talking about bawling when you discover you’re out of beer in the fridge. (Although, really isn’t that one justified?) I don’t always cry when I’m hurting, but when I’m frustrated oh the water works just may flow. I have been known to need Kleenex while watching some rather touching YouTube videos.When I held my precious Pepe in my arms as we rushed to the vet after he suffered head trauma, I wept. A lot. In fact, I bawled. I knew what the end result would be. I looked into his eyes and asked “Why, Pepe? Why did you have to be so aggressive with that other dog?” He had been my true best friend for a decade. He was there there to cuddle with me and lick my face in my deepest, darkest moments since the day I came out to my wife and stepchildren, when I knew I was going to have to tell my eldest son he wasn’t coming back home ever, and when my father took his own life and I felt abandoned by him and the rest of the family. During those moments when I felt almost completely friendless, unwanted, and discarded by everyone I knew, Pepe was there. And now I was on my way to speed his journey out of this life. And I didn’t care who saw. I wept again as I pet him, saw the look of trust in his eyes, and reassured him he was such a good boy and I loved him so very much while the veterinarian infused his veins with a deadly cocktail. I talked softly to him as I watched the light go out of his eyes. Something I had done countless times with humans as a hospice chaplain. But this was different. I have lost a lot of people over the years, but losing Pepe was my most painful moment of unadulterated, raw grief.A real man is able to acknowledge his emotions and allow them to manifest. For heaven’s sake don’t utter the phrase “Big boys don’t cry.” Ever. Instead, teach your children that perhaps we don’t cry when we spill our drink or drop our ice cream, but when we’re sad, feeling hurt, etc., it’s totally okay to shed those tears. They’re there for a reason, bud.
• Secure in his sexuality. I don’t care if you’re straight, gay, bi, curious, whatever. Be secure enough in who and what you are that you aren’t offended when another guy compliments you. What’s your problem? Do you see a gay guy throwing chairs across the room when a woman comes onto him? I’m so elated anyone finds me attractive, I couldn’t care less what type of plumbing they have. Take a compliment, dude. Be like Jack Nicholson’s character in As Good as It Gets after his gay neighbor informs him he “loves” him (after Jack’s character does a huge string of wonderful things to help him get back on his feet): “I tell you, buddy… I’d be the luckiest guy alive if that did it for me.” If your boy wants to wear a pink tutu, buy him the pinkest tutu you can find. When your daughter wants to play with a tractor or a chemistry set, get them for her!
• Isn’t completely clueless. Know when your wife, girlfriend, partner, friend, buddy, et al, needs to just vent. Put down the damn tool box and quit trying to fix stuff! I know women can be extremely mysterious (despite how much they insist they aren’t), but I’d say about 95% of the time when a lady is talking about something that bothers her, she just wants you to listen and validate her feelings. If someone wants advice, they’ll make it clear that’s what they want. Guys want this, too, but many are too dang afraid to admit it. Tired of how your wife bitches about you not cleaning up after yourself? Clean up after yourself! That can go up under Respect as well. Pay attention to the small stuff, because they sometimes are really big. You look at your partner every day yet you don’t recognize when they’ve had a haircut? Come on! Your wife or husband is wearing a newer item of clothing, or one that just really enhances their beauty, tell them! (Just be careful to not say it like “You look really handsome/beautiful today.” You’re asking for trouble if you say that.)
• Earn the right to call yourself a father. You know those kids you “helped” create? (Let’s face it, you really didn’t do much.) Take care of them! Your wife/girlfriend/whatever is not your damn maid or the kid’s nanny. And if you’re a same-sex couple, it still applies. You don’t get to have the title “Dad” just because you unloaded some sperm at the perfect time and your “boys” just happened to make it into an egg and start life. A dad is involved in his children’s life. He helps put them to bed, bathes them, plays with them, wipes his fair share of snotty noses and feces-filled diapers (nappies for you Queen’s English speakers), and so on. “But I bring home the bacon!” Congratulations! But your job still ain’t done.
• Celebrate your children. I had the opportunity to stay with the parents of a friend in Australia. I was almost moved to tears as we sat around the dinner table as they shared stories about their kids. When the father told me his son was a professional ballet dancer, he had the same look of pride in his eyes as when we discussed that his daughter was a doctor. Be as excited with your son or daughter’s art show or ballet performance as you are when they score their first goal or touchdown. Yeah, those things can be boring as hell. Suck it up. Give your boy’s girlfriend (or boyfriend) the same “you better watch yourself” look that you would give the young man (or woman) courting your daughter.
• Be aware. I’m sorry, but there is no freaking excuse for you to forget the birthdays of your loved ones or your anniversary. It’s especially nonsensical in this day and age of technology. Between Facebook, online calendars, alerts on your phone, etc., you have no excuse except that you’re a lazy arse. These things are important. Make an effort.

• Teach your kids to stand up for themselves (and others). And show them by example. I’m not saying you should train them to be jerks, but teach them how to be their own advocate and make darn sure you act like one as well. No, you shouldn’t stand up for them when they’re wrong. Stand up for what’s right. When they have an issue with someone else, listen patiently, and encourage them to deal with it on their own. Help them problem solve, role play, whatever it takes.  If that’s them, fine. If it’s their teacher, coach, mother, boss, whatever, stand up for what’s right. It isn’t your job to fight their battles for them. It’s to equip them with the necessary tools so that they can take care of things themselves when they’re older.

  Teach them to stand up for the downtrodden, for those who are “weaker” than them, and so on. When you witness an injustice and keep silent, guess what your kids will do. A real man doesn’t take advantage of someone’s weakness. Instead, he helps them find their inner strength and helps them stand taller. Your kid can’t throw a ball despite how many times you try to help them? Find what they’re good at and nourish that! Is it really so bad if your son is a fine dancer and your daughter is the football team’s quarterback?

• Doesn’t take himself too seriously. Life is short, bro. Come on. Be silly. Go skipping with your son or daughter. Embarrass the hell out of your kids by singing Barbie Girl as loud and as awful as you possibly can. Every so often, snort loudly when you laugh. Teach your daughters to burp as loud as they can. (Boys already come programmed for this task, along with joyously releasing eye-watering deadly farts.)
• Don’t handle your children with any preconceptions. This may surprise some people, but I honestly hope my son isn’t gay. Not because there’s anything wrong with it (hello!), but because it’s a hard life. But I’ll embrace whatever he discovers he is. Since the day he moved into my home, I have never assumed his orientation. “When you meet a boy or girl you want to kiss. . . “ and so on. I make darn sure that whatever comes out of my mouth does not imply any expectations when it comes to orientation, career choices, etc. I never mention girlfriends or girls without mentioning boys as well. And I mix them up so that girls don’t always come first in our discussions. I want him to know by my actions and words that I accept, honor, and celebrate whatever orientation he locks into. That comes to having children as well. “One day, if you decide to become a parent. . . “ He may not want children when he’s older. I want him to know that’s okay, even though I secretly want at least a dozen grandkids.

  Tigger has some fashion choices that drive me crazy. If you’ve been on our Facebook page, you’ve seen his ridiculous white head covering that makes him look like Captain Underpants. I despise it. It looks ridiculous, and it’s so stained it looks filthy. People constantly stare at him when we’re in public. But it’s “special” to him, so I keep my mouth shut and ignore the temptation to help it become lost. If he’s comfortable with the weird looks he gets, why should I care? Teaching him to be his own person and not be a sheeple is one of the most important jobs I have.

• Don’t be one of those asshats who dictates to their kids what job, education, or career their kids should pursue. Instead, a real man wants his children to pursue their passions and to be ridiculously happy. Be it flipping hamburgers at McDonald’s (“Be the best damn burger flipper you can be!”), painting, dancing, or becoming a doctor, lawyer, or demolitions expert. If they want to be a professional clown who travels throughout Central America “like some dang hippy,” support it, encourage it, and applaud loudly at their performance. A real man wants his children to blossom into their own person and doesn’t feel shame because their kids haven’t met someone else’s expectations.
• Honors women. Women are absolutely incredible. They may not be as physically strong as many men, but everything else they can do is absolutely remarkable. A woman can take the most mundane event and turn it into a glamorous celebration. Their bodies take a liquid, turn it into a human, nourish it, change for the birth, and create actual sustenance for the child within their womb and for many months after the birth. They can juggle more things at one time without skipping a beat than most of us men could ever dream of. They’re often wiser, smarter, and better at problem solving than we are. When they love, they tend to do it with every cell of their body. They find joy in spoiling and caring for the people they love. If you have a son, teach him just how wondrous women are and how they should be respected. If you have a daughter, teach her just how amazing she is and can be. Teach her to live according to what makes her joyful and to ignore the arbitrary limitations set for her by a misogynist society. Help her see that her future is only limited by her the boundaries of her imagination. Teach your kids to respect and treasure their mother by doing so yourself.
• Sees beyond the superficial nonsense. A real man looks beyond the glitter, large breasts, perfectly toned body, large bulge, etc., and sees the inner beauty of someone. To get past the facade and delve into the intelligence, wit, resourcefulness, compassion, inner strength, of another person takes real skill. A real father teaches this same talent to his children. To quote Dumbledore from Harry Potter, “It is our choices. . . that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” A real man lives this and guides his children to see others through the same lens.

As I was preparing this rant, I thought I would ask Tigger what he thought a real man was. His initial response was “Someone who can cry.” Then he asked me if this was geared for the States. I replied that it was for everyone in the world.

So what does Tigger ultimately think makes a real man?

“He has a penis.”

Popularity vs. Quality

It’s rather obvious that in a voting contest, the most popular folks are the ones who will win. That isn’t always a good thing, though.

If you’ve ever watched American Idol and remember the likes of Sanjaya, you’ll have a vivid reminder as to why popular isn’t always better.

Justin Bieber, anyone? Yeah.

Devaluing

I’d rather see contests and awards go to people, sites, etc., who actually deserve it for the hard work they put into creating solid content. There are some really fabulous blogs out there, like Sally’s blog. Some perhaps just don’t have the following and/or don’t want to hassle their readers for constant voting.

Many bloggers put a lot of heart and soul into their writing. They work hard to make their posts interesting, readable, entertaining, and informative. Others just throw up whatever they can just because they want a lot of “freebies.”

Some people often write posts that are specifically designed to generate traffic to their site and to increase their rank in searches, rather than focusing on quality.

While these reasons aren’t inherently wrong, per se, these types of contests and competitions have no way of sifting through people who are actually writing for their audience versus using techniques to simply increase the number of hits to their sites and therefore increase the number of trips, marketing opportunities, and dollars they earn.

Are those really the “best”?

The grief factor

Recently a blogger experienced a horrific tragedy in her life. There is currently one of these voting contests going on, and some rather well-meaning people felt others should vote for her blog as a means of “supporting her.” Obviously, a blogging award isn’t going to make up for the tragic event in their life. If I found myself in a similar situation, I would appreciate the thought, but I would personally feel awful if I knew I won a blogging award simply because I experienced tragedy in my life.

And, frankly, I may not want all that attention while I’m in the middle of my grieving process.

Again, I know their heart is probably in the right place. As a hospice chaplain and grief counselor, I understand that people often feel powerless. I’m sure they feel they can’t do anything and desperately want to feel like they’re doing something, anything, but is this really the best way to go about it?

Lack of trust

While I’m not overly impressed with most winning selections (including the big famous ones like the Academy Awards), at least ones that are selected by a panel of “experts” and similar people tend to shoot for selecting quality over just “flash.”

Many of the sponsors of these contests try to make things a bit more fair by limiting people to one vote a day, but there are multiple methods available to easily game the system. For example, the common way to attempt to make things a bit fair is to have recognition of IP addresses so you can only vote once a day.

That is easily bypassed, though. With a VPN, you can change the IP address. When you go to Starbucks and access their WiFi, it allows you another vote. Ditto for every subsequent location you go to that offers WiFi or a wired connection.

The best of. . .

According to whom? I can easily tell you which blogs I think are the absolute best, but does that truly make them the best blogs?

This the same reason I avoid doing “best of” type posts for everything: beaches, hotels, cities, etc. I know which places I loved, but I’m fully aware that there will be others who completely disagree with me. What’s great for me isn’t necessarily great for anyone else. Even accounting for my impeccable taste.

Who really benefits?

I think most of us enjoy winning awards and getting recognition, but who is really benefiting from these contests? If a company expects you to put a post on your site promoting them so you can be officially entered into their competition, who is really winning?

The company or site is getting a crapload of increased traffic and an increase to their Google ranking for essentially nothing.

And every voter is helping them.

I saw this a year or so ago with a contest run by a popular site. The contest made it seem like the winning blogs would be recognized; however, it turned out there was no end date to the contest, and really it was just a complete traffic grab for the site. None of their staff or representatives would respond to emails, Facebook messages, or tweets.

At least be honest about it, folks!

Win my contest to get a press trip, etc. . .

This is one of my big pet peeves when it comes to blogging. Companies take advantage of hopeful independent bloggers to increase their exposure and traffic.  The blogger enters and gives away free advertising for the company in the hope that they will be selected to go on a press trip or enjoy a cool experience with their company.

Naturally, if they do win, they’ll be expected to give the company even more coverage during and after your trip. Meanwhile, all the ones who didn’t win have eagerly donated to the sponsor for nothing.

How about companies check out the bloggers that apply or express an interest and decide which ones best fit their brand and/or goals? Why the gimmick BS?

And why in the hell do people participate in being taken advantage of?

If you put a lot of care into developing your blog and your community, you seriously deserve better.

And if you made it this far, thanks for reading my rant.