18 responses

  1. Sheila Poettgen
    November 28, 2012

    My partner and I have been traveling through Mexico for over 10 months now and we usually try to avoid really touristy – ex-pat areas but we’ve been living in largest ex-pat community in Mexico for the past few months in order to have access to services we can’t get anywhere else and for short-term business reasons. Not only are we turned off by the higher cost of living in ex-pat areas but we’ve also sensed a tension in these areas from locals toward ex-pats that we haven’t feel in smaller villages/towns that we pass through. We speculate it is due to things you mentioned above (ex-pats coming in to start/take away businesses from locals, their desire to create home-like community instead of embracing the country’s culture, etc). One of the biggest turn offs for me when we pass through these areas is the sense of entitlement from some (not all) ex-pats. Some examples that stand out for me: an ex-pat neighbor who had been living in Mexico for two years couldn’t speak ANY Spanish & when local folks couldn’t understand him he would get testy and annoyed with them via raised voice and rude gestures; and another short-term neighbor of ours who bragged about how she hadn’t cleaned her own toilet or mopped a floor in over 10 years and then when on to brag about how little she paid the locals who did do the dirty work. Ick. Ick. Ick. Makes me sick to my stomach.

    However, every local person I’ve asked about how they feel about ex-pats and how they’ve affected their community say that ex-pats create a better economic environment for them and that makes them glad for their presence. And some ex-pats I’ve met truly do embrace the culture of the country they’re living in and make beneficial contributions to the community, form strong relationships with their neighbors (which are usually locals) and are there out of a sincere love for and desire to become a part of the community/culture.

    Reply

    • Talon
      November 28, 2012

      We met with the same tension in Cozumel. The lack of typical friendliness, the lack of desire to really mingle, etc., was so strongly obvious. It seemed like they were just completely over the expats. Understandable. Then you go to smaller towns like Valladolid and get to see some of the REAL Mexican culture. Whenever we go somewhere, I typically try to avoid expat communities. Have met some wonderful people, but it just changes things too much for me.

      Reply

  2. Annie Andre
    October 24, 2012

    Loved reading this Talon. I totally agree with the reasson why you travel. I do know people who like to travel but who prefer the expat life. They can only take so much local culture and then that’s it. To each his own. There are different types of people travelling for different reasons.

    We chose to travel and live the same way as you. total immersion with no english speakers in sight. It makes the experience so much more real and forces you to think outside the box. Some people just don’t like being uncomfortable or the challenge i guess.

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 26, 2012

      It really made me challenge how I view myself in terms of long-term traveler or expat without a permanent home.

      Reply

  3. andrea
    October 17, 2012

    To live my life more fully I try to live without judging other people – it wastes too much time and energy. It doesn’t matter if I don’t understand why some choose to live the ‘expat’ life – as long as they are happy.
    .

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 18, 2012

      I’m not judging anyone. Just acknowledging I don’t understand a group of people’s way of life or thinking. I’m sure there are many that don’t get mine. We’re all different, and I think that’s wonderful. I’m also acknowledging that particular version of expat life doesn’t work for me. Great that it works for them, though.

      Reply

  4. Living Outside of the Box
    October 17, 2012

    Love your reflections on life in Mexico, and I agree…we couldn’t live on an island long. It would especially drive Jared nuts…he MUST go somewhere…and fairly often! I keep trying to get him to slow down…hahahaa!!

    I love Tigger’s observation…it’s exactly the lesson my kids have reflected on…and I hope it sticks forever!

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 18, 2012

      I guess it just depends on the island. We were on a much smaller island for 8 months and loved it, but I was diving almost daily, which makes a difference. 🙂

      I hope it sticks forever, too!

      Reply

  5. Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot
    October 16, 2012

    Mexico has been on my to do list for 26 years! One day I’ll get there, I know I’d love it. Disfrute! It sounds like you are:)

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 16, 2012

      WOW! Yeah, it’s time to come visit!

      Reply

  6. wandering educators
    October 15, 2012

    i hope to teach our daughter to live with JOY. with that, you’ve got everything you need.

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 15, 2012

      So very true!

      Reply

  7. Nancy Sathre-Vogel
    October 15, 2012

    I hear you! We lived the expat life for 12 years in various countries and, while we were teaching in American schools so were in constant contact with other Americans, we wanted to live in a normal neighborhood. While in Egypt, we lived on campus and it was a real effort to get out and into the real culture. I did it, but not as much as I would have liked. When we first moved to Ethiopia, we lived on campus for a year, then insisted on a house out in a normal neighborhood! We loved it out there!

    I can totally understand expats staying in their own circle as it’s so much easier. And when you’re working full time you don’t have time for a lot of things – just like when I’m working full time in the USA. My life ends up revolving around work and since work is expats, well… it happens.

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 15, 2012

      It’s very interesting. Obviously, in some countries you have to live in expat compounds and such. In Cuenca, I was amazed at the number of retired people who were moving down there and demanding basically every convenience they had back home and not wanting to pay for that. People who made no effort to learn the language, constantly complained about the culture, etc. If you aren’t being forced to live there, move on! And if you feel the need to re-create your home country elsewhere, perhaps you should stay in your home country. Part of the fun of living in other countries is the fact that it isn’t like home!

      Reply

  8. Dyanne@TravelnLass
    October 15, 2012

    “I discovered I have no desire to be a typical expat…While once in a while it is nice to get together with fellow gringos, I’m not interested in only supporting gringo-owned businesses or places that exist mostly for the tourists. ”

    First of all, I seriously doubt that there’s any such thing as a “typical expat”. But that said…

    I do oh so agree with you when you say: ” I also don’t live in a country just to try to re-create my native land in a new location. ”

    I KNOW – what’s with THAT???

    I’ve been living here in Vietnam now for nearly a full year, and I can count on my left hand the number of tet-a-tets I’ve had with fellow expats. Sure it’s nice to chat over a rare burger ‘n fries or an icy margarita once in a great while, but why on earth someone would go to the trouble to move half way ’round the globe – only to hang out with folks who talk/look/eat like them, and wall themselves up in a bubble of all-things-like-at-home – is utterly bewildering to me.

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 15, 2012

      Typical expat in terms of my own encounters so far. Although, from what I’ve read and heard from others, it seems my experiences of at least US expats thus far are quite common encounters with others.

      I’m glad I’m not the only who is bewildered by it. It’s downright confusing to me. Ditto for people who move to a foreign country and choose to live in essentially expat communities. Sure, an occasional get-together is nice, but I want my neighbors to be mostly locals. I want to learn as much about the culture as I can, learn to make their favorite native dishes, and so on. I find it so confusing.

      Reply

  9. Michelle
    October 15, 2012

    Talon,
    Nice Article. Love the lessons that you expressed here, especially relearning to use your gut. I remember the conversations in Ecuador about you not feeling it was necessarily the correct move but there was the business opportunity. It’s too bad that part of it did not work out.
    Also interesting to me is being able to submerse in culture. Of course you know, the boys and I spent a month in Ecuador over the summer. My choice in home locations made it very difficult to immerse with culture. We did a bit because in a small village there are no grino shops or restaurants. I loved that month but vowed to make our next experience, in a different country, more about the people and culture.
    Anyway, it is all part of the experience. What a blessing that Stevie is learning what true happiness means!!
    May your travels to Spain and Europe bring many more lessons and amazing times!!
    Blessings,
    Michelle

    Reply

    • Talon
      October 15, 2012

      Guess the important part is I learned from it, and no one suffered. Just a hit to the bank account.

      I think Olon was a great place for such a great endeavor. And now you’re big, bad travelers so can handle something else with confidence. And besides, you guys being there when we were meant we all got to meet and get connected, so . . .

      I look forward to reading about your adventures as well! Funny, because we were talking about you guys yesterday with a friend. Were your ears burning? 🙂

      Yes, I love that he gets it! Gotta bask in any parenting success we get, eh? LOL

      Reply

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