Monthly Archives: March 2011

Jennifer shares her words of wisdom

Posted on 28/03/2011 | 2 Comments

Jennifer Manglass is currently on an RTW trip with her family. She’s a creative, sometimes obnoxious, sometimes quiet lesbian and is excited to start attending Clark University once she gets back from the trip. She is an undecided major right now, and is interested in English literature, Spanish, Japanese, art, and possibly education. She can’t decide what to focus on!  Jennifer loves reading, writing, drawing, music, history, and horseback riding.

How old were you when you began traveling with your family? Was your first experience of international travel before you began doing it long-term?

I was 18 when I began traveling with my family, but it was not my first experience with international travel. The summer before I had spent two weeks in India volunteering at an orphanage, a trip that was sort of a “test run” for my family when we were considering spending a year abroad. I had a wonderful time even though I was somewhat of a guinea pig!

Whose idea was it to do long-term travel in your family?

It was my mom’s idea to do long-term travel; for her whole life she had wanted to do something big that would help people, and I think she realized that if she was ever going to do it, now was the time.

Please do a brief explanation of the trip your family undertook.

We are undertaking a year of travel and volunteer work around the world and are seven months into the trip. We have toured through many places, including Russia, Europe, and Southeast Asia, and are volunteering and raising money for projects in Bulgaria, Kenya, Tanzania, India, Cambodia, Laos, Peru, and Belieze.

When your family began planning the long trip, what were you excited about?

I was excited about the opportunity to travel to places I had always longed to see, learn new things, meet people with different cultures and viewpoints from myself, and to help people. I was thrilled at the idea of getting out of the “box” I felt like I had been inhabiting by only seeing the US for my whole life, with the exception of my trip to India previously.

What were your concerns or fears?

At first I didn’t like the idea of taking a gap year, because I was excited to start college. But I soon adjusted to it and realized that the opportunity to travel like this was worth waiting a year.

Did long-term travel change the way you see the world and/or your future life?

Absolutely. Even though I was very sympathetic to international issues before I went on this trip, NOTHING compared to actually experiencing and seeing things that were happening firsthand. There is something about just seeing issues on the news or reading about them that makes them seem less real, even when one is dedicated to helping fix those kinds of problems. Also, going on the trip has made me realize that I love travel and interacting with youth around the world, and would really enjoy teaching abroad when I am older.

When you’re on your own, do you plan to continue long-term international travel?

Definitely. I want to study abroad during college, after I graduate, and in general, as much as I can. I have learned so much from travel, and I know that there is more than a lifetime’s worth of knowledge out there in the world that I haven’t discovered yet. I also want to continue helping and learning from people as I travel.

If you become a parent, do you see yourself doing this with your own family?

I don’t know if I see taking an entire year to travel, because I don’t think I have the superhuman strength that I mother does to get through an entire year of travel while managing her life and her childrens’ school, but I definitely want to travel abroad with my family whenever the opportunity presents itself. If this means during summer vacations, gap years, or whenever it’s possible, I’ll be ecstatic to have that time to travel with them. It would also be a wonderful chance for my children to learn about the world.

If you could go back in time, would you change anything about your family’s decision to do this?

I think one thing I would change is that I would make sure that we had more concrete plans for what will happen when we get back from the trip. We sold our house and my mom quit her job before we left, and it has been hard to travel and at the same time make arrangements for when we will get back. Other than this, I don’t think there’s anything major I would change.

What was your favorite part of travel? What is your favorite memory?

I have had many favorite parts so far, I think. Our horseback riding trip in Bulgaria was amazing, and I also loved visiting Pompeii.  Living in a village in Kenya for a month was also one of my favorite experiences. As for favorite memories, I couldn’t say right now! So many incredible things have happened that it’s hard to choose a memory, and we’re not even done traveling yet!

What would you like parents to know who are considering doing a trip like this with their children?

First of all, that no matter how old your children are, it is possible to travel! International travel sometimes seems very challenging, and adding children to the mix might seem to only make it harder. But once you get out into the world, you realize that everything is very possible if you understand that no trip can go perfectly, and that is okay. Research is helpful and important when planning travel, and is is also great to be able to chat with other families who have already traveled or are traveling.

Would you recommend this type of travel to other families? What would your advice be to parents so that they can make travel more enjoyable and meaningful for their kids?

I would definitely recommend this type of travel to other families. It is important to plan well for any travel you undertake- my family spent about a year planning our year-long trip, but everyone has different planning styles so the exact time will vary. Just be prepared to work through obstacles while traveling- nothing can go perfectly right, and figuring out ways around these hurdles is actually fun most of the time! For parents, I think it’s important to make sure that your children know about where they’re traveling, and also have a say in the activities that are taking place. You may not want to take a three-day horse trip in the mountains of Bulgaria, but if your daughter is excited about it, maybe you should consider it! (We did, and it turned out to be one of the best parts of the trip.) Also, it’s nice to give kids a break once and a while during travel.

An iPod or a DS aren’t things that kids should be staring into all the time, but during downtime at hotels it’s good for them to have a break. Finding this balance is hard, but keeping both aspects of travel in mind is important.

What would you say to younger kids who are about to go on a similar journey as your family?

Although traveling will sometimes be frustrating and hard, is is worth it. Really! You will be able to see, learn, and do things that you’ve never imagined, and your perspective of the world will be changed for the better. If you’re worried about missing your friends or your school, that is understandable, but those things will all work out.

You will be able to talk to your friends while you travel, and you will be able to either do school on the road or resume when you get back! These things are big deals, but traveling is so worth it.

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Interview with Miro

Posted on 15/03/2011 | 19 Comments

Next up in our series of interviews with kids who have done long-term travel is Miro. He and his mother have been on the road in Central, and now South, America for the last almost 2 years. I found many of his answers to be very insightful. I hope you enjoy his interview.

How old were you when you began traveling with your family? Was your first experience of international travel before you began doing it long-term?

I was 10 when we started our travels and I am almost 12 now. The first time I was out of the United States was when my mom and I took a vacation to Jamaica, it was a while back though.

Whose idea was it to do long-term travel in your family?

It at first was my mom’s idea, but we both made it happen.

Please do a brief explanation of the trip your family undertook.

My mom and I have been traveling for almost 2 years now, all through Central America. We are now in our first South American country.

When your family began planning the long trip, what were you excited about?

I was excited about seeing the different landscapes and food. Food is a vital part of traveling. (I couldn’t agree with Miro more!)

What were your concerns or fears?

At first I was scared of leaving behind all of our belongings, but when we started traveling, I forgot all about our stuff.

Do you see the world differently now that you’ve visited other countries? How do you think travel will change your life as an adult?

I see the world in a much better way now, and I think I will be settling down somewhere when I turn 18, because by that point, I will have already seen the entire world.

If you become a parent, do you see yourself doing this with your own family?

If I become a parent, which will be in a Loooong time, yes, I do see it happening.

If you could go back in time, would you change anything about your family’s decision to do this?

No, I think everything is good the way it is, plus, I don’t want to cause a time paradox.

What is your favorite part of travel? What is your favorite memory so far?

I love everything about traveling, and the memories of our travels, are all pretty epic.

What would you like parents to know who are considering doing a trip like this with their children?

I would like to say, from my experience, children prefer to take traveling slow, to give them a sense of stability.

Would you recommend this type of travel to other families? What would your advice be to parents so that they can make travel more enjoyable and meaningful for their kids?

Again, take it slow, its not like the world is ending tomorrow.

What would you say to other kids who are about to go on a similar journey as your family?

I would say to enjoy every moment and live life to the fullest. You only have a certain amount of time on this planet.

What would you suggest to other kids to bring on their trip and what to leave behind.

It depends on the kid, I would say bring whatever you think is a good idea; That’s what I did.

How did you handle the idea of leaving your friends back home knowing that you may never return, or at least may not return for many years?

I didn’t really have any friends my age, and the ones I did, I stay in touch with. The people and friends you leave behind are still there. if you want to keep in touch, you will.

Did you bring anything on your trip that you later decided you really didn’t want or need? If so, what types of things were they?

Really they were just clothes I have outgrown.

Is there anything you wish you had brought on the trip but didn’t?

I wish I had brought my Teddy Bear (Childish, I know, but it makes me feel comfortable).

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Hearing Another’s Voice

Posted on 08/03/2011 | 2 Comments

There is a really awesome, wonderful, and amazing travel community on Twitter. They are always willing to share, give you tips, research things, joke, etc. An equally fabulous but smaller group of that community are the families who travel together. We get to hear from them a lot, but one viewpoint is often missing, that of the kids. And so with that in mind begins a special series of interviews on 1Dad1Kid.com. I have done interviews with kids currently doing long-term world travel as well as some who did it when they were teens and are now young adults. I hope you enjoy them. Some of their answers are incredibly insightful, and some show something else: These kids doing amazing adventures are still very much “typical” kids. We begin our first interview with Morgan who did an around-the-world trip with his family and recently traveled with his twin brother to Costa Rica to work at a wildlife refuge, to surf, and to chase vipers & crocs.

Please tell us a little bit about yourself:

I like surfing, running, martial arts, hiking, looking for animals, especially alligators and snakes, and doing thinks with my family; I am a Lifeguard for Brevard County Ocean Rescue now and I really love working on the beach; For the future I want to work with crocs and snakes either with field work, in a zoological park, or with educating people why they are important.

How old were you when you began traveling with your family? Was your first experience of international travel before you began doing it long-term?

I first began the around-the-world trip with my family when I was 17. Before this I only went to islands in the Caribbean and on a cruise to Guatemala and Mexico. This trip was completely different.

Whose idea was it to do long-term travel in your family?

The idea to travel around the world came from both of my parents. They wanted my brothers and I to see the world and experience new people and cultures before we started college.

Please do a brief explanation of the trip your family undertook.

My family started the trip in Mexico and from there went south through Central America all the way to Costa Rica. We rode in local transportation the whole way which was interesting and really, really crowded to say the least. We then flew to Peru and traveled by bus all the way to Brazil. From Brazil, we came back home for the holidays and set out for Africa. In Africa we surfed, dove with white sharks, helped transport lions for veterinary work and much more. After Africa, we went to Southeast Asia where we saw the islands of Thailand and Angkor Wat in Cambodia. From there, we went to Australia, which was by far my favorite. We saw huge snakes, crocs, kangaroos, and koalas and camped for the two months we were there. Finally, we went to New Zealand, Fiji, then home.

When your family began planning the long trip, what were you excited about?

I was most excited about Australia; I have wanted to go there my whole life and it lived up to everything I had dreamed of. Also, while there, I wanted to see the north with its crocs and snakes as well as volunteer at Australia Zoo. We got to do both and it was amazing!

What were your concerns or fears?

I can’t really remember having any fears or concerns leading up to the traveling.

Did long-term travel change the way you see the world and/or your future life?

After the trip, I realized if you want something you have to go get it; take proactive steps towards your dream. It is the people that always say, “You’re sooo lucky” that will never do anything. Doing something such as an around-the-world trip is not based on luck or how rich you are. It is based on how much you want it.

When you’re on your own, do you plan to continue long-term international travel?

Yes, my brother and I have since traveled to Costa Rica for 3 months where we surfed some of the best waves of our lives, helped our friend open his wildlife refuge, caught huge crocs for a university, and worked with the most venomous snakes of the Americas. It was so awesome! On our next trip, we want to go to Africa to go to the Counter Poaching Academy to help stop the killing of animals. This is something we are very passionate about.

If you become a parent, do you see yourself doing this with your own family?

I believe that learning by traveling is the best way and if I ever become a parent I would want to give my kids the same opportunity as my parents gave for me.

If you could go back in time, would you change anything about your family’s decision to do this?

Absolutely not, it was the best part of my life!

What was your favorite part of travel? What is your favorite memory?

There are too many to count. I loved working with lions, meeting our friends in Brazil, volunteering at Australia Zoo, Catching crocs in Costa Rica, diving with white sharks in South Africa, exploring Macchu Pichu, surfing in Nicaragua, camping by billabongs in Australia and a lot more.

What would you like parents to know who are considering doing a trip like this with their children?

This is a lot of fun and will be the best time of your lives, but it takes a lot of work. We realized how much work it takes to plan a trip when my brother and I traveled by ourselves for 3 months in Costa Rica. Don’t try to start a long term travel on a whim, but if this is something you really want, then you should go after it full force!

Would you recommend this type of travel to other families? What would your advice be to parents so that they can make travel more enjoyable and meaningful for their kids?

I would recommend taking kids who are at least 15 or older on a really long-term trip because I think that this is the time you enjoy it the most and can get the most out of it. Maybe try shorter-term travel for children younger.

What would you say to younger kids who are about to go on a similar journey as your family?

If you are traveling long term you will not always be comfortable, you won’t always have enough sleep, sometimes you will have to miss a meal or two, there will be delays on plane flights, buses, etc, and plans will not always go according to plan; however, the good things that come from travel will make you forget about anything else. Travel is truly, truly amazing and once you start, you never want to stop!

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The Challenging Part of Trip Prep

Posted on 06/03/2011 | 29 Comments

When a single parent is preparing to leave the comforts of a middle-class existence, leaving a fairly secure job in a time of economic uncertainty, moving from a home that he rents for $500 a month less than what his neighbors pay, and dragging along his 9-year-old child on an indefinite trip around the world, one could probably easily come up with at least a thousand different things that might be viewed as “challenges.”

Aside from “How am I going to pay for all this travel?” there is the visa research that has to be done, the securing of certified documents that some countries require in order to procure a visa, getting his poor son additional shots, weighing the pros and cons of certain preventative medicines, finding homes for cherished pets . . . well, the list goes on and on. What’s the biggest challenge?

Decluttering. Yes, that oh-so-fun experience where you spend several hours, days, dare I say weeks?, going through all of your belongings and getting rid of them. This stack goes to thrift store for donation, this stuff is for selling, this goes back until we’re closer to departure, that will go into backpack, although I’m quite confident that last category will go through several incarnations before our packs are finally lifted onto our shoulders for departure. One would think that after having moved several times in the last 5 years there really wouldn’t be that much to go through. And one would be quite wrong. I have boxes of stuff I haven’t opened since I moved to Colorado from Texas upon finishing my residency program. Want to know the big surprise when I opened them? I didn’t need a single item.  So why did I keep them? I mean who really needs a grocery receipt showing I bought milk, eggs, raisins, and cantaloupe 5 years ago!

I wouldn’t feel so badly if it was just one receipt, but there were LOTS of things like that. Sure there was the occasional nice surprise. For instance I found pics from when I was in my 20s and practically unrecognizable from my current self. In fact Tigger even looked at them and said “Who is that? Was he your friend or something?” Bigger belly, clean-shaven face, and the biggest shocker was the black hair which is a big contrast from today’s mix of black, white, gray, and silver hairs. “Whoa! You had black hair!”

Pictures I understand. Grocery receipts not so much. And then there was my geek collection: Two portable printers (one a Canon inkjet and the other an HP photo printer if anyone is interested in buying them from me), two laptop bags (one with wheels and a section for holding files from the travel-for-work days), some old cell phones, and my favorite find: A phone outlet adapter so I could plug my modem into the phone outlet without having to unplug the phone from back in the days when WiFi was pretty much only for telemetry, before cable was both TV and Internet, and DSL was probably someone’s dream still. Spiffy, no? Someone suggested I submit it to a museum.

I found it interesting that Tigger and I found so many things we absolutely had no problem getting rid of, but the one that caused me the most perplexion was my massage table. Sure, it was expensive, and it’s in absolute mint condition, but why did this one hold me back? I have no plans on returning. And a big part of this type of travel for me is learning how to do more with less. Yes, admittedly I’m a pack rat, and growing up with having so little to my name seems to have produced the opposite effect in my adulthood. Funny that the idea of carrying only what can fit into a small backpack around the world indefinitely seems to be absolutely no problem, but the table gave me pause. Perhaps it’s the idea that I would have SOMETHING remaining back here, besides friends, just in case this whole crazy idea didn’t work the way I imagined it. I finally decided it would be part of a spiritual practice to go ahead and sell it. One more way to show the universe just how committed to this whole thing I really am.

Tigger's room as he decluttered

It has been somewhat liberating to see more and more of our items leave the house. Tigger’s room is finally off the FEMA database as a disaster area, and I can actually move around inside my closet. It’s also a nice visual reminder that our trip is coming and that my life is getting more & more . . . simple and unencumbered.

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Posted in Musings

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Statistics Can Suck It

Posted on 02/03/2011 | 49 Comments

There is a statistic for practically everything. Have a question? There’s probably a study that has addressed it. Some of them have absolutely earth-shattering results, too: Children who are bullied tend to be more depressed. Really? Wow! Thank goodness someone discovered that through a double-blind, peer-reviewed study because I probably never would’ve guessed that in a million years!

Society has some strong opinions as well. That’s natural. Humans tend to like boundaries. We find labels comforting. They tell us what to expect. I imagine during the caveman days we found solace in organizing with people of like minds. Okay, so it makes sense even today, but sometimes societal consensus just isn’t . . . all that.

May you have an example, you say? You may be sorry you asked. For one, there is a large group of society who feel that gays & lesbians shouldn’t be parents. There was even a time not all that long ago when it was believed males weren’t able to be adequate parents without a woman involved. Well, tell that to the approximately 6 children I’ve had a part in parenting. Children who, incidentally, were in my home because of deplorable things their straight parents did to them. When people rail against LGBT parents, they tend to forget we wouldn’t have children to adopt or foster if their straight parents hadn’t messed them up. Long-established crime statistics show that 97% of child molesters are married, white, heterosexual men. So aren’t LGBT parents even safer?

There is a family I know, and who you may know as well, that received a healthy amount of criticism. They are currently almost finished with an amazing adventure involving bicycling from the tip of North America to the bottom of South America. Upon finishing, their 13-year-old children (who were 10 when they started) will hold the world record for being the youngest people to do this trek. Some criticized them as being reality-TV-styled parents trying to gain notoriety and fame through torturing their children. Except there is no camera crew following them, and since when has anyone been able to “make” a child bicycle for thousands of miles and through two continents? Of course none of these critics have sat down with the boys to discover their opinion of their travels. I have had the pleasure of spending a few days with this incredible family, and the boys are as committed, if not more, as their parents. Abused? They’ve had more experiences than most adults. They have learned how to deal with adversity, how to adjust to chaos, how to work through challenges and how to deal with it when things aren’t going their way. Dare we say they know how to set and accomplish a goal? At 12 they were doing college-level math. Not because their parents forced them, but because they’ve been allowed to learn and progress at a pace that works for them. Will anyone ever be able to tell them they can’t do something?

Did you also know that foster kids are troublemakers who will never amount to any good? 37% will not finish high school. 3 out of 10 of all homeless are former foster children. 50% are unemployed. Ready for a really interesting one? 84% become a parent. What about the rest? I’m one of them. I was horribly abused as a child. I was in and out of informal placements until I was 15 when I officially entered the foster care system where I continued to be abused. What’s happened since? I’ve achieved a doctorate degree plus post-doctorate training. I’m a former foster parent and legal guardian and current adoptive parent. For the last two decades I have taken care of people in the emergency department as a nurse, treated people as a naturopathic physician, and served as a chaplain for patients and their families in the intensive care units as well as those preparing to die in hospice. I spent a decade as a leader in the Boy Scouts. I share this not to get a pat on the back, but to support what we don’t often hear about: The ones who don’t fall into the above sad numbers.

As a parent of special-needs children, I constantly face the judgment of others. Whether it be because my foster child is dancing in the middle of the clear grocery aisle, walking around making odd sounds, or otherwise being “obnoxious.” At school I’m talked down to because I’m a single dad, and we all know that men are incapable of being “real” parents. Yes, my child wore a dirty hoodie to school. Not because I don’t care or because I’m clueless, but because that’s what he wanted to wear even though I brought it to his attention. If I’m trying to instill in him that we shouldn’t live our lives according to the expectations of others, how can I put my foot down because his pants have holes in the knees? He also brings lasagna that is 100% made at home, even the noodles, to school for lunch while other children are ingesting food whose list of ingredients looks like something out of NASA. Now I’m beginning the journey to join a small handful of other parents who are pulling their kids out of school and taking them along on world travel, an even smaller group of whom are single parents. Abusive? Negligent?

I once had a kid living in my home who wanted to dye his hair blue. We lived in a very small, fairly conservative, mostly retired community. What did I do? I took him to the store and bought him the dye and took pictures while he and his friend changed their brown hair to colors only found in the animal kingdom. For months I referred to him and his buddy as Smurf and Booger Head. When it came time to find a job, the brown hair returned. He got it out of his system.

Not all societal consensus is negative, but so often we feel ostracized as parents, as people, because of what Society expects of us. So many of us, consequently, miss out on truly living or being who we really are simply because we don’t have the support we need to be what or who we truly are. We may not be the parents we choose to be because others don’t approve, or we’re simply tired of the judgments, which so often come from people who have never parented anyway. Frankly, I’m many things. Some irritating and some truly wonderful. I bet you are, too. The big question is, whose life will you live? Whose standard will you choose to base your choices on? Why not live and parent according to your heart?

In the end you have to do what you believe is right. You have to be able to live with your decisions, and likewise your regrets. Only you know you. Only you know your child and their needs. Dare to dream, and then dare to live that dream.

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