Just doing some whining

October in Scotland is usually met with rain, cold, and wind. Yesterday, though, we walked in beautiful sunshine along the shores of Loch Lomond occasionally passing through woods in a park. Some of the trees showed evidence of autumn, and I imagined what the sight would be when the leaves were yellow, orange, and red.

Feeling elated by the wonderful scene and experience, I turned to Tigger and said, “THIS is why I don’t want to move to Mexico.”

No, I’m still not ready to leave Europe. I love walking through the woods, the tree-lined streets, and feeling the hint of chilly weather. I love when it’s just cold enough to increase the sheer joy of hunkering down inside a comforter, standing next to a wall radiator, or soaking in a hot bath.

loch lomond, scotland

Walking in the woods feeds me. The sight of verdant hills next to the deep blue of an azure lake just lifts my spirits tremendously.

On the way home, we stopped at a supermarket and I discovered their exotic meats section.

Shortly after stepping foot in the home we are caring for, I naturally decided to do another coin toss. Desperate and pitiful, that’s me! But just like the other 20 times before, the coin was against me and the side for Mexico won all 3 tosses.

Damn coin.

Oh, did I mention how Scotland’s rail system is free for kids ages 5-15 when traveling during offpeak hours? There is really no train travel in Mexico. You either fly or take a long bus ride. One of the things I least enjoy about an otherwise lovely country with amazing people.

Yes, I’m looking forward to the food, spending time with my friend, and being able to work at night instead of early in the morning (due to the time zone the company I contract with is located). I really do enjoy Mexico, but I am just not ready to leave Europe.


I know I can come back. I’m not “stuck” anywhere. But, I don’t want to even leave.

All I can say is there must be something incredible waiting for me in Mexico. At least there better be.

Sure, I realize my “problem” is a good entry for #firstworldproblems. I read about the plight of the Syrian refugees desperately fleeing a horrible situation only to be thrust into another one and feel privileged and silly to be whining.

But just like how “Children are starving in Africa” doesn’t make broccoli any more appetizing, the fact that other people have it worse doesn’t help. My heart just isn’t ready to accept it, and I am very tempted to tell Tigger it’s too bad he wants to go to Mexico but my tush is staying here.

“But we’d lose all that money!” he says sagely.

While that prospect does make me wince slightly, it isn’t a loud enough argument to help me firmly resist the idea of not going. I feel like a toddler stomping my foot and yelling, “But I don’t wanna!”


I know that as the temperatures drop and the sunny days slide into more and more gray and wet ones my resolve will likely change, but for now I’m mourning that the day of our departure is quickly coming.

I have a pretty incredible life and amazing freedom, and I am truly thankful for that. But today I’m just going to sit here and whine. And eat more chocolate. And maybe return to the supermarket and pick up some Ben & Jerry’s.

Feel free to roll your eyes as you read this. I’m sitting here sticking my tongue out at you anyway.

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  1. Just be sure to find an apartment/house with air conditioning! 😉

    Sometimes, we just have to whine a bit. I’ve been doing some whining myself lately. It’s so hard when our hearts want what they want even though we know the practical side of life needs to take the lead from time to time.

    And, I can so relate to this: “But just like how “Children are starving in Africa” doesn’t make broccoli any more appetizing, the fact that other people have it worse doesn’t help.”

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    • I’m not sure a lot of places there have A/C. But I can handle 28C when it’s a dry heat.

      My heart usually does a better job of coming around. This time it’s being a major pain in my backside!

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  2. Scotland can do that to you…it gets under your skin and having spent winter there it does not change. I am sure you will enjoy Mexico after all as you say you are not tied to be there you can return whenever you decide.

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    • We always enjoy Scotland when we’re here. Such a great country.

      We have always liked Mexico, so I’m sure we’ll enjoy our time there. Knowing that we aren’t “stuck” helps.

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  3. I had a similar-ish situation to you a few weeks ago. I’d spent $3000 on a trip to the Seychelles, Mauritius, and the Maldives and I didn’t want to go. Which was insane, because who wouldn’t want to go to those places? And how could I lose all that money?

    But I was miserable at the thought of going. I wanted to stay at home and spend more time with my family. Relax after my book writing trauma. Have some familiarity in my life for once.

    Cancelling the trip was so hard. I packed my stuff, but all I could think about was how I really didn’t want to go. I got to the airport and the thought of getting on the plane felt so, so wrong that I turned around and went back home again.

    And it was the best decision ever! I’m so happy I didn’t go. I’m not saying that you should cancel going to Mexico, but if it doesn’t feel right and you keep tossing coins and hoping they’ll tell you to stay… 🙂

    Also! Dave and I are going to start hunting for a base next year and I feel like we’re going to have just as many struggles as you guys have. So hard to narrow it down from all the amazing places in the world!

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    • Wow! That’s a HUGE loss! But if it didn’t feel right, probably the right choice.

      Yes, it’s definitely a challenge when there are so many places you love all over the world. I empathize for you guys already.

      If my head and/or gut were in agreement with my heart, I’d definitely hold off. Unfortunately, it’s just my stupid heart.

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  4. I am currently wearing a sweatshirt! We have fall here, too. Ok, the cactuses don’t change color, but you will definitely need some warm clothers for winter here! See you soon!!!

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    • Your forecast is about 28C every day. Our high is about 13. THAT’s fall weather. LOL But I know SMA gets colder at night. I actually like that combo of warm days and chilly nights. But it isn’t fall for me without leaves changing colors.

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  5. Best whiny post ever! I love the closing sentece.
    If you’re not ready to leave Europe, you’re not ready and that’s al there is to it. I’d probably have a hard time leaving Europe for Latin America (mind you, I AM Latin American!)

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    • LOL! Too funny. I’m definitely not ready. Unfortunately, though, my head and gut disagree with me.

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  6. I actually do feel sorry for you….you sound so sad. It sounds like you are planning to stay for more than even a year or so-do you think that could be the problem? I have to agree Europe is so great and diverse, but I had a sneaky peak around San Miguel de Allende and it looks fabulous-right up my street as long as I could visit the ocean. 😉

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    • I won’t lie. I’m struggling with it. I know it’s a good idea and all makes sense and is very logical, but oh my heart has other ideas. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it once I’m there. Getting there, though, is a different story.

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